Parenting is a skill that you will learn as your child grows. No handbooks on parenting would help you become a good parent, as each child is unique and so are their parents. The activities of rearing a child tend to differ from one parent to another. You will also face the challenging task of raising a child who has the right balance of discipline, morals and values.
As a parent, you must remember that your child reflects your actions and if your child has behavioral issues, then it’s time to review your parenting skills. Therefore, it is important to stay aware of the signs of bad parenting as such mistakes can affect the life of your child to a great extent.
What are Signs of Bad Parenting?
The signs of bad parenting mentioned below will help you know if you are off the track, in terms of parenting skills.
1. Lack of rules
The house with no rules will have kids who wish to do everything as they please. The homes with parents who have busy lives often forget to set the rules for their children. It is important for your kids to follow a set of rules to discipline them and to realize what is right and wrong. When children break the rules, make sure you communicate the consequences very clearly.
2. Punishment – Verbally or physically
Parents often vent out their anger on their children while failing to realize that such actions can inflict psychological damages in them permanently. Punishing your kids by smacking is not advisable, as it might backfire. Screaming at your kids for small mistakes can make them very aggressive. Such acts will also make your child lose confidence and develop an inferiority complex.
3. Not spending enough time
It is true that children are very happy when you buy gifts and snacks. But, they will also expect you to communicate with them regularly to tell you about their experiences each day. Spending quality time is an important part of parenting, as children would need the comforting words of their parents and hugs when they are confused. The kids who are not given enough attention would behave in an odd fashion, just for attracting attention.
4. Mistreating others
Children have the habit of observing you and the way you interact or behave with others. So, it is important for you to treat the elders with respect, speak to your spouse with love and express your concern when a family member is ill. When the parents speak ill of others, it is natural for the child to believe it as an acceptable behavior and show similar behavior towards others.
5. Being very protective
Some parents tend to cover up for the mistakes of their child, which gives the kids the confidence that their mistakes will be covered every time. When you protect your kids for the mistakes they do, eventually they will not feel bad about their mistakes and will expect you to cover up. Allow your children to make mistakes and refrain from protecting their mistakes.
6. Showing favoritism
When parents have a favorite child, they tend to corner the other kid by scolding or punishing more often and it will remain etched in the child’s mind forever. Such activities would make that kid resent or hate you. The kids, who suffered favoritism in their younger years might badmouth their parents after growing up. Make sure you don’t compare your kid with his or her sibling, as it might have an adverse reaction later on.
7. Insulting in public
Some parents might label their kids as dumb or lazy and call such names in public places accidentally, which can hurt their children and lower their self esteem levels. Similarly, criticizing the efforts of the kids would make your kids develop jealousy and resent other kids. Make sure you do not tease your kids in public and avoid unintentional negative criticisms, as it can make your kids express depressive behavior.
8. Spoiling by pampering
If you thought that pampering your children is the way of expressing your love, then remember it is one among the top signs of bad parenting. When parents fulfill every wish of their child, their kids will never learn the value of money. They will also expect you to buy them everything they ask for and will create a big fuss when you say ‘No’. Teach them the value of money to learn about spending wisely and focus more on saving money.
9. Too much interference
Some parents interfere a lot by trying to resolve every problem that their child has created. The parents must understand that they are restricting the social development abilities of their children. Parents must refrain from this bad sign of parenting, as their kids would depend on them and will fail badly in the competitive world after growing up. Letting the children to handle the issues on their own would help in improving their abilities.
10. Not having trust
It is important for the parents to have some level of trust in their kids. It is natural for your neighbors or kids at school to complaint about your kids. But, believing in what others say about your kids will create an impression in the minds of your children that you don’t trust them. It also sends signals to your child that you think he or she is a liar or cheat. To prevent your children from developing an insecure feeling, ask their side of explanation before taking a decision.
Remember, all these signs of bad parenting can have an irreparable impact on your children in the long run. Keep an eye for the signs mentioned above and avoid it when dealing with your kids the next time. Be gentle when dealing with their mistakes, spend some time on discussions and playing with them, have trust, stop comparing with others, set simple rules and treat them with respect in public. Make a move today to rectify these signs, as your children grow up fast!
Why is Authoritarian parenting bad?
Authoritarian or strict parenting dues not yield better results when it comes to behavior of the kids. The kids grow up with lower self esteem due to which they are not able to fit into the group and behave worse when away from parents. These kids also get punished more than others. On top of it there is always a danger of kids getting behavior problems. Some of the top points to remember are –
- Lack of responsibility and self discipline
- Lack of empathy can develop bullying nature in kids
- When alone, they are confused as to how to deal with a problem
- These children also ends up being a rebellion
- Relationship between parent and child turns sour
- Depression and anger are found to be more prevalent in these children
- They get a false notion that power is required to get things done
What bad parenting can lead to?
Negative parenting could have a long term effects on the kids. Lets us have a look at some of the top ones –
- It affects education, accomplishment, success and above all emotional intelligence of the children
- Moral development and empathy in them
- It can lead to violent adult and they are more likely to indulge in crime
- Mental health like PTSD, dissociative behaviors, attachment disorders, anxiety etc. gets affected
- It can lead to growth of addictive behaviors or substance abuse
- When grown up, these kids might have problems in relationship with spouse and their children
- It could also affect their physical health