Marriage is a happy event in our life. We wait for that D-day endlessly after we are engaged to our partner. Finally, the day of our union comes and it ends even before we notice it. What follows after, is a strange sense of loneliness and silence. Guests who attend the wedding leave one by one and so are our dear ones after some time.
We are left with a stranger to live together for a lifetime if the marriage is an arranged one. In case of a love marriage, it appears that all the excitement and fun of the courtship days have come to an abrupt end. This is how Post Marriage Depression is experienced by the newly wed. According to relationship experts, one in every 10 new spouses goes through this less known mental phase.
Just know that it happens with everyone. All you have to do is to be patient with yourself. Here are some tips you could adopt to manage post marriage depression!
1. Create An Extended Honeymoon Period
It is okay not to end the honeymoon period in 3 or 4 days. While it might officially be over, you could always carve out some time for yourself and your spouse. Spending quality time, even after you start your regular routine, will help the other person relax and trust.
2. Establish A Connection With Your In-Laws
There may be cases where you had to move to a different town. Make a home for yourself in this new place. Your in-laws are now your parents. Try to connect with them. Watch and listen patiently as your mother-in-law explains the various things. Extend a hand of friendship towards your mother-in-law. Ask her to guide you as you begin a new journey.
3. Keep Yourself Busy
Never sit idle. Idle mind is the workshop of devil. So engage yourself in some activity. You can learn to cook the traditional dishes of the household or if you have ample time with you, try learning a new course or something of your interest.
4. Talk To Your Hubby
Do not feel depressed. Do not feel alone. Talk to your husband. Communicate your feelings and thoughts. It does help in getting over the tide pretty faster. Make plans for the weekend. You can go out for a movie or hangout with a bunch of friends to ease your boredom and depression.
5. Put Up Your New Home
Moving into a new home is really a fun-filled experience. You will now be sharing a room with another person. While you do not have to redo the entire house, you could actually make some modifications to your room, giving it a more homely approach. Doing so helps you cope up with the new scenario, while washing off the blues.
6. Spend Some Quality ‘Me’ Time
Your husband has left for office. Your mother-in-law has gone to her friend’s place. And now it is your time. You just don’t have to compromise on those things that you loved to indulge in when you were single. Go out and get a massage. A pedicure or a facial could also uplift your mood. Pamper yourself
7. Sweat It Out
If you had not been exercising before, then it is a good time to kick off an exercise regimen. According to studies, exercising is one of the best ways to knock out depression of any kind. Find out a gym near your new home or you can join a yoga or an aerobics class.
8. Get It Out Of Your System
Throw away whatever is bothering you into the trash. You can either write down everything and burn the paper or just take a deep breath and allow it to go. Whichever way you choose, ensure that the bunch of crap is out forever.
9. Meditate For Peace
Mediation, according to researches, helps in calming down the mind. It alleviates anxiety and soothes your nerves, gifting you a sense of clear thinking. You do not have to sit in complicated yoga postures to mediate. Just plug in your earphones and listen to some soothing music, allowing your mind to drift away from the confusing stage. You are bound to feel relaxed and calm.
10. Deal With The Arguments
Last, but not the least, once your honeymoon period is over, you are bound to come face to face with arguments. They do exist. Instead of getting depressed over the silly things and crying for no reason, deal with those in a sensible way. Sit and talk with your partner in a calm, relaxed way to cool down.
Finally, give it time. Marriage is a set of complicated rules and regulations that often require time. Just be calm and flow with the pace. You will be happy!
Causes of Post Wedding Depression
The general perception of marriage is built on certain heavy-weighing words like commitment, responsibility and routine. The life of a single is in complete contrast to these qualities. The idea of giving up a fair share of one’s freedom and space can lead to depression in many.
Married life in itself a new way of existence for both the man and the woman. Never before in our life did we share each and every conceivable thing to an another person. In spite of every kind of mental preparation, when the moment of practice arrives, it difficult to deal and people end up mentally affected with the stakes.
Life with a partner without commitment and life after it might shock the newly wed love birds in more than one way. While the experiences can be eye-openers, the effects of these experiences can be depressing for a few.
Another less known aspect of postnuptial blues is the debt to pay for the expenses of the ceremony. In recent times, the costs of arranging a major event like marriage have increased. For instance, in the United Kingdom, the average expenditure on a wedding is 20,000 pounds. 20 percent newly married couples find themselves in debt after taking their wedding vows. The result is excitement followed by stress.
A latest research study has revealed that the levels of the love hormone, phenylethylamine, drops in women after they enter a secured relationship. No such changes take place in men. While men try to get physically intimate, lack of interest from the partner can spoil the fun, eventually leading to depression.
Shared by Priya – Dealing With Postnuptial Depression
It is extremely important to keep low expectations from the partner before the marriage. After the event, focus should be more on understanding that our personal life is about to change for good in the future. It calls for adjustments as the changes to take place need not be as per our terms in some instances. This is the hardest thing to realize owing to a lack of any such experience in our past life.
After knowing the adjustments to make, we slowly start to fit into the larger picture and seek our new role of play. While the previous step is mostly a personal challenge, we can work with our partner to figure out each other roles in a married life of constant togetherness.
Placement of honest efforts, genuine concern for the partner and mutual respect bread love for each other. From this stage onwards, the rest of the things fall in place smoothly. In short, we learn to lead a happy married life.
2 Comments
I think the major cause for post marriage depression is that people marry early these days. They are not mature enough to take responsibility of the family. However, they feel marriage is like bed of roses. When they come across the real problems of marriage then they do into depression as they are fragile and immature.
poverty seem to be common cause for post marriage depression