Every woman desires that her husband is the best person on this earth. He must have all the good qualities of an ideal husband, that is he must be considerate, caring and loving. Although an ideal marriage is rarely possible as when two individuals live under the same roof, they tend to fight and argue with each other.
In most cases, couples make adjustments so they remain together, but often two individuals turn out to have different temperaments and simply cannot adjust with each other. Naturally, the marriage breaks down.
For a marriage to be success, both the partners must have qualities which will make the marriage a very fulfilling affair. Although, the wife also has an important role to play in the success of the marriage as she has to take care of the home and children, the husband has definitely a greater role as he is in most cases the bread earner and provider of the family. No doubt, these days, due to economic pressures, both the husband and wife are earning, but this does underplay the role of husband only to a certain extent. Traditionally, he is still considered to be the head of the family.
Husbands are always eager to please their wives, although it is not all that easy to please the fairer sex. One has to strive very hard and go that extra mile to win over the spouse. Men read books, magazines or consult their peer group to seek various suggestions to please their better half. How? Let’s have look.
Top 10 Qualities of a Good Husband
Below are some of the top qualities that a husband should have –
- He should be trustworthy. The wife must be able to confide in him and also know that he loves her only and not somebody else. Men are very good at dating but when comes to being a good husband, they more then often fail. Men who have sexual experience with many women in the past are less likely to be faithful to their wives. It is similar to people leaving alcohal where high percentage of people fail. The romance present while dating slowly fades and it is limited to more or less only while copulation.
- Loyalty is very essential. A wife can never share her man with another woman, and expects her husband to be loyal to her. Often, the husband strays and this causes much tension and friction in the family. A wife may choose to forgive, and in case the affair with the other woman is rather serious, then she may ask for a divorce. Naturally, for a happy family life, both the partners have to be loyal to each other
- Sincerity is also very essential. A woman likes it when her husband showers love on her and makes her feel that she is the only woman in his life. He must reciprocate his feelings towards her
- A good husband must be responsible. He must take care of his family, provide for the children’s education and health and also ensure that his wife is well taken care of economically and emotionally
- He must be successful at his career. A man who does not show any success in his official ventures may not be appreciated by his spouse. Every woman wants her husband to be successful, as success means prosperity to her family
- Most woman respect an upright and honest man. They like when their men work hard and prove that they are successful.
- His self-esteem must be high. He must feel good about himself and then only his wife will also respect him
- He must be a good listener. No doubt, a husband has had a hard days work and expects his wife to listen to him. At the same, the wife also had an equally tough time with household chores and children to take care of and would like her husband to listen to her woes. There has to be a give-and-take relationship
- Adaptability – A husband must be able to adapt himself to any given situation. He must be able to devote time towards the upbringing of his children and also pay adequate attention to his wife’s needs. He must be able to handle family and household financial crises
- Sensitivity – A husband who is sensitive towards hi wife’s feelings is well appreciated. A wife needs all the emotional and financial support to bring up her children. She after all spends a lot of time looking after the children. Naturally, she would expect her husband to be sympathetic towards her feelings
It is quite obvious an ideal husband has to have a lot of good character qualities which will make his wife like and respect him. If he is responsible then his wife will also be able to take good care of her family.
Contributed by Cynthia – Her views on Top 10 Qualities of Better Husband
- One has to keep the relationship healthy: One must keep the communication flow healthy between the spouses. One must try to build trust and also get rid of misunderstandings. One must avoid arguments and try to convey issues very amicably so that it does not result in major fights. Tips to avoid arguments and fights:
- Do not allow feeling to build up and get bottled up as one will end up bursting out one’s feelings.
- Give her full attention and do not divert your attention to other things while she is talking. Listen to her feelings. Do not avoid her by looking elsewhere.
- Use diplomacy while dealing with her. Do not accuse her, but rather try to make her understand the issue. In case, she is at fault, reason out with her and make her realize she is at fault, without antagonizing her.
- If you are angry or in a bad mood then let your spouse know that you are upset so that she provides you with the required space for you to relax and ease out your anger, rather than take it out on somebody.
- Spend time with your spouse: One must take some time out from one’s hectic schedule and spend time with one’s wife. She does require your attention. Also, she must have her own space as well and let her know that you also require you own space. One must spend a day together to understand and appreciate each other’s problems. Treat her with due respect, so that she understands that you also need to spend some time with your pals.
- Compromises have made to be made: Make few compromises to make your wife happy. No doubt, too many compromises by one person does cause resentment and affects the marriage.
- Sharing chores: To be a good and understanding hubby one has to share the household chores as well. A wife has to handle the kids as well shoulder the responsibilities at home. In case, you as a husband helps her out in her daily work schedule at home it harmonizes the relationship and also improve one’s sex life.
- Clean up your own mess: One must make an effort to clean up one’s own mess as that would relieve the wife of the burden of too many household chores. Also, she will feel happy that you are showing some consideration towards her and also that you do appreciate her hard work at home.
- Behave well at home: Make sure that you keep up your “home” manners that is do not get sloppy in behavior that would make your spouse feel awful. Keep up hygiene and try to be neat at home as well. No doubt, home is a place where you relax, nevertheless, one must maintain “home” etiquette as well.
- Laugh together: One must enjoy precious moments together and laugh together to relieve stress and strains of daily life. No doubt, sometimes it is difficult to do so as one may not be in proper mood, but one has to try to crack a few jokes to humor your spouse as life will be easy going. It lowers blood pressure, oxygen flow to the brain improves and also one’s mood takes an upswing and you will feel less pressurized.
- Loyalty: Reassure your wife that you love her the most so that she does not doubt your fidelity. The bond between both of you becomes more stronger.
- An element of independence: It is important to keep up the independence of your wife so that she also feels she is an individual. Making her totally subservient to yourself can definitely make her unhappy and also resent you. Mutual respect for each other brings about happiness and joy in relationship. Moments may be there when the equilibrium may get affected but try to maintain the balance.
If issues get out of hand, then it is advisable to seek professional help, rather than fight and create a bad environment for the children. Initially, you can seek peer group help if they are trustworthy. If this does not help, then professional counseling may help to resolve issues.
In the East this is not a way out usually, although now educated women who are financially strong are resorting to this option to harmonize their marital life. It is advisable to be more tolerant of each other and thus resolve issues amicably. The question of how to be a better husband can be answered if one does some self-introspection and see where one is at fault. Yes, tempers do flare up and one may be very unreasonable, but just calm down and relax and see the issue on hand in a better perspective.