Complications of Dating a Married Man

Can there be any positives in dating a married man?
The answer is NO.

He may seem charming, charismatic, understanding, mature, and compassionate. His experience of being married also makes him understand the emotional needs of a woman better. He seems to know when to say what to make you feel better. Having an affair with a married man sounds tempting but is undeniably sinful.

Apart from that, it is also lined with many painful complications.

Before we move on to complications, let us understand why women fall for married men.

Why do women fall for married men?

Research shows that single women are likely to pursue men who are already taken- whether committed or married. The figures were astounding – 90% of the surveyed single women were interested in men who were saved, and the interest level dropped to just 59% when they were told that the man was single. What makes married men so irresistible that women fall head-over-heels for them? We explore some of the top probable causes –

1. Married men offer financial stability

A married man has a family to care for and will be a wise spender. Unlike his single counterparts, he may have already invested heavily in a house, savings, and other things. This ensures that a married man is financially secure – which scores a considerable plus when money is essential in making a relationship survive. Women find this quality of a married man quite appealing and may fall for him.

2. Dating a married man makes some women feel more desirable

He may have a hot wife at home, but you may feel more desirable because he chooses to spend time with you. Some women date married men to boost their self-esteem, as they feel more wanted than the wife. They feel powerful because they can provide emotional and physical support to a man with a bad relationship at home.

3. A married man has already proven his commitment

Many women are wary of the commitment levels of single men, and when they hear stories of someone who has done a lot to marry owing to commitment and is still not happy, they fall for the trap. They feel that fate has deceived the man even after being so committed to their wives.

Think again. Is he committed?

4. Women prefer to copy mates

Research shows that a man with a wedding band on his finger is more desirable to some women. A married man comes across as someone his wife desires, and some women find this attractive. They base their mate choice on what other females think or discuss him. This makes an affair with a married man a conscious decision for some women.

Complications of Dating a Married Man

One may argue that one cannot control who the heart desires or falls in love with. Though that may be true, another fact is that being with a married man brings about a massive chunk of painful complications that sometimes can be fatal. We discuss the top 11 below-

1. You are and will always be the ‘second priority’

This is understood. You will always be the second priority of a married man who has a wife and family that come first for him. Whatever he may say, he will always be there for his wife and kids, and you will always have to wait for him to be with you.

2. The affair will always have to be hushed up in secrecy

It may sound ecstatic with highs when it starts, but having a secret affair after a while could become suffocating. There is happiness in having the man of your dreams walk you hand in hand, with his smile indicating how proud he is to have you. While having a passionate evening in a hotel room may be thrilling, nothing beats a romantic walk in the sun.

3. You have no legal, financial, or emotional claim over him

No matter how much he earns, you will only receive things as ‘presents.’ You have no right to him or his money. No law protects women in extramarital affairs, and you will often find yourself fighting to win him emotionally.

4. The Society may shun you as a ‘home-breaker’

Most extramarital are hushed up and covered in secrecy, with only a few friends aware of the affair. Even then, if someone finds out you are in a relationship with a married man, you will be looked down upon as a home-breaker. Even if he made it difficult for you to say no, Society will always blame you for your lack of sense.

5. He will never commit to having a future with you

He may tell you a zillion times how happy he feels with you, and he wishes to be with you all his life while he has a miserable life back home. The point to note here is that it is different to feel loved. He loves how you make him feel, but it does not mean he loves you as much and will commit to you.

6. You will miss on better, single options

Married men often make it difficult for women to leave them; they know how to play their cards very well. Women find it difficult to call off the relationship and miss better single options. Time passes, and it is only later that women realize what they have missed.

7. Your needs will always be secondary

He may shower you with presents, but he will not be available when you need him the most. While he will perfectly play the role of a lover, he will never place your needs above his or his family’s. Whether it is the happy moments of your life or those filled with despair, he will only make things up when he has time, usually with a gift. That says a lot about what he thinks about you.

8. You will only get to meet him when he wants to

Have you had a bad day at work and lost a friend? You may want to cry your heart out to someone you love, but since your man is married, he will be available only when he wants. You will never get to share your joys or sorrows with him firsthand; you will never have the opportunity to tell him how your day went. If you want to reach him, it might be possible only when he wants to.

9. You will feel neglected and used

You are having the worst day of your life, and you text him to meet you. He does not reply. Another 5 texts later, he says he cannot because his wife’s relatives are there. But he may not shy away from quickly digging at you in the car’s backseat, meters away from his home. Take advantage of the libido-driven hot passion for love; you are and will be used as he wishes to.

10. You may go on guilt trips on your own

The thing about dating a man who belongs to someone else is that you realize it is wrong sooner or later. You have invested so profoundly in this illicit affair that you find it difficult to break free. Your emotional dependence on him and your inability to break free will make you feel guilty, and you will get depressed. You may go on guilt trips if you see his wife or kids and then get into depression.

11. He will never leave his wife for you

Despite what he keeps on telling you, the reality is that less than 5% of men leave their wives for other women. (Source) He may give you tons of excuses, but given the complications of a divorce, no matter what men tend to stick to their women. He may promise you repeatedly, and you may keep giving him time, but he will not leave his wife for you.

Dating a married man is like making a fool of yourself. You need to think clearly with your head and not your heart. Do not go by the face value, but also weigh the pros and cons of dating someone who is already in a committed relationship with someone. Think hard, considering your priorities.

End Notes
Dating a married man should never be done, but for those with different opinions on this subject or are in a particular situation – it may be easier for them to do this. There are many reasons why other women may prefer to date a married man. If you fall into a relationship with a man who is married, you may need to follow a few rules. Being discreet is very important when it comes to this kind of relationship. For example, you won’t be able to call him anytime, go to certain public places, or even go on a vacation together. The fact that he has a family waiting at home for him indicates that he must be responsible.

Always be sure you know exactly what you are getting into before entering into a relationship with a married man. Most women are automatically attracted to married men because it is the whole thought of committing. Knowing he can commit to one woman for the rest of his life is very positive in most women’s eyes. Even though he is married, don’t expect him to get up and leave his family. The chances of this are very slim, especially if he has children.

Be cautious of where you both go together. If there is a specific time he wants you to call, only speak to him during that time. It is always better to find someone single, but if this is the road you want to take, go ahead. You may have your reasons, or in fact, you are even married yourself. You want to keep it discreet without letting your husband know what you are doing until you are ready for divorce. Most women who do this are looking for a way out. Think twice before dating a married man; it might cause more discomfort than good.