Why married men cheat? Is it dissatisfaction in the current marriage or simply the boredom crisis? Are they unhappy with their spouses or driven by their hormones?
Marriages often break down because husbands are not loyal to their wives. These days, wives are not accepting their husbands showing interest and building relationships with other women. They expect total commitment from their partners. Most of the time, the wives are busy with household chores and children and have little time for their husbands. Yet, whatever time they get, they want to spend it with their husbands.
Why do husbands cheat? After all, don’t they have any commitment to their family? Here are some reasons why men seek the company of another woman, despite taking care of their wives.
Top 10 Reasons Why Married Men Cheat
1. Infidelity begins at Home
While the act of infidelity may not start right at the doorstep, it does root from there. Constant fights, unresolved issues, disturbed environment: all these factors may lead married men to stray. They start seeking solace out of their homes and comfort outside their marriages. An affair becomes a distraction and instead of dealing with the issues back home, they push the problems under the carpet.
2. Affairs are Good for the Ego
Deep down, men are as insecure about themselves as women. Most times, married men are attracted to people who praise them, compliment them, and look up to them. This is great for their male egos. The partners other than the spouses pamper married men, making them feel special and valued. Extramarital affairs are also a way to reassure men that they are still desirable.
3. Men are Emotional Too
Men tend to feel emotionally left out when women are busy with bringing up the children, completing their household chores, and meeting deadlines. Men may not show their emotions openly, but they are emotional beings. When their emotional needs are not addressed, they turn their attention to the people who understand them and fulfill their emotional void.
4. When the Boredom Sets In
Married life can become dull. The thrill, excitement, enthusiasm, and feelings men experience at the beginning of a marriage are lost after a few years. That’s when married men seek the same spark outside marriage instead of recharging their marriage. For the moment of gratification that an extra-marital affair brings to them, they are willing to put their relationship at risk.
5. Let’s Talk about Sex
Physical intimacy plays a vital role in marriage. That’s why things start falling apart when one or both partners are not physically satisfied in the marriage. Many married men search for sexual excitement in extra-marital relationships. A lack of fun between the sheets may drive men to venture into the land of infidelity.
6. An Eye for an Eye
In many cases, an extra-marital relationship can be an act of revenge. Chances are married men with infidel spouses start a fling as revenge to get back at their better halves. They might feel if their wives can do it, so can they. These men certainly don’t believe in forgiving and forgetting.
7. Beware of Anger
Anger and bitterness can ruin a relationship. Men consumed by rage are likely to cheat. Their spouses’ actions can ignite frustration that can result in extra-marital relationships. In such a scenario, trivial things can take the form of big issues. Resentment and hatred instigate men to cheat on their wives as a form of punishment.
8. Living in Loneliness
The feeling of being lonely in a marriage can lead men to stray. When husbands feel alienated from their wives, it creates drifts in marriages and an ideal situation for extra-marital affairs. The urge to fill the emptiness and vacuum becomes so strong that men seek “other” partners to break the loneliness.
9. Polygamy is not for Them
For some men, being committed to a single relationship is not their cup of tea. The basal animal instincts overpower the civilized senses, and men leave their marriages and become polygamous. One of the reasons why married men cheat is that they have no control over their impulses.
10. The Modern Lifestyle is a Bane for Marriages
An increasing number of men are spending more time at workplaces than at home. They work near women who understand their work-related issues. This allows them to get close to someone who shares their goals and passions. It doesn’t come as a surprise that most extramarital affairs start in offices.
Some Startling Facts about Married Men Who Cheat
M. Gary Neuman, a marriage counselor, conducted a survey. The findings were indeed an eye-opener.
- For 48% of men, emotional dissatisfaction was the primary reason for cheating on their spouses
- 40% of men who cheated met their partners at work
- 12% of men found their mistresses more attractive than their wives
- 77% of men who cheated have a friend who has also cheated
While we have stated why married men cheat, there are others too. Regardless of the reasons, nothing justifies the act of infidelity. It only brings disappointment to all the people involved.
Content Submitted by Keith – Another point of view
- Boredom – Men tend to get bored of their married life. Life, at times, becomes monotonous. The wife may be too involved with household chores and children and may not have the time for him. He is in search of excitement and finds it in another woman. If both spouses understand each other completely and shift their attention from personal desires to the desires of their spouses, this problem can be controlled to a great extent.
- A roving eye – Men are supposed to have a roving eye. They like looking at and admiring other women. They like to taste something “new” and “different.”
- A nagging wife – Many husbands get fed up with a nagging wife at home and prefer the loving and caring company of another woman.
- A neglected wife – Many women do not take care of themselves. They go out of shape. They lose out on their figure. They do not take care of their appearance or dress up properly at home. Naturally, a man gets fed up with his wife and prefers a better-looking woman.
- Sexual incompatibility is also a reason why men go in for another woman. A few years later, the husband may feel his emotional and physical needs are not being met and tend to seek the company of another woman. The husband often finds an outlet for his physical and emotional needs by having an affair with another woman.
- To try out something new is often a reason given by the husband for indulging in an extra-marital affair. He often feels he needs a change of scene and would like to spend time with someone who is “different” and perhaps “more exciting”.
- Easy access to female companionship is another factor that provides an opportunity for a husband to have an extra-marital affair. Often on business trips, he tends to take advantage of being with another female colleague and enters into a relationship with her.
- Male ego is also another factor for men to cheat on their wives. Husbands often feel superior about being a man and like to focus on their “macho” qualities of being able to attract another woman. Sometimes when males feel that their dominant position in the family is challenged, they tend to go for someone else. Men always what to be dominant players in married life. Once women start earning more than their husbands, this situation gets aggravated.
- Peer pressure also encourages a man to cheat upon his wife. Some friends may cajole him into trying out something “new”. They often introduce him to other females with whom he can spend more time.
- A wife paying too much attention to children and household chores often forces a man to go in for relationships outside of marriage. He feels neglected. He wants more attention, and since he is not getting it at home, he prefers to get it from an outsider.
Men do cheat on their wives. This is a harsh reality some wives have to face up to. At times, the wife could be responsible for the situation. Sometimes, the man himself is found guilty of such an act. Several marriages fall apart on account of the extra-marital affairs of the husband.
Why Married Men Cheat FAQs
What should I do if I suspect my husband is cheating on me?
The first step is to have open & honest communication with your husband. If he’s been unfaithful, explain the issues directly without beating in the bush. Try keeping the conversation calm and respectful, and pay attention to what he says. If you are unsatisfied with his answer, consider seeking a professional counselor’s advice. He will help you work through your feelings and advise the best action.
Should I confront the other woman?
Confronting the other woman is not the best idea. The other woman might not be the root of the problem. The primary issue might be between you and your husband. Confronting her can escalate the situation, making it difficult to resolve.
Should I forgive my husband if he cheats on me?
Now, this is going to be a personal decision. The circumstances, situation, feelings towards your husband, and how you can move forward and build trust again are some reasons you can consider. Forgiveness is a powerful tool that heals even big wounds and helps move forward.
Can a marriage survive infidelity?
Yes, marriages do survive infidelity. However, it takes hard work and commitment from both partners. Building trust, once broken, might be a long and challenging process. On the other hand, the whole process might get easy with the help of professional counseling and therapy.
Should I stay in the marriage if my husband continues to cheat?
Continuing to stay in a marriage where infidelity will be difficult and sometimes can bring extreme pain. You are the right person to decide to depend on your emotional and physical wellbeing. Take the guidance of a therapist or counselor who will help you make this decision. Financial stability and kids are the two reasons that might stop someone from going out of marriage, even in painful scenarios.
31 Comments
Men have hunger for women body and sometimes it gets out of control. This is the primary reason a man cheats on his wife. He is not satisfied with one and wants to have multiple of them. I think this might seem rude but this is truth and I have experienced it.
I beg to differ with Melati. In more then 80% of the cases men leave their wives not because of hunger for something but more for true love. The understanding part in the love is more important then the s** part. I am sure women folks would not agree with me but this is the truth and I have read the statistics somewhere.
I agree with you, Melati.
No matter what, a man will cheat on his wife. It doesn’t matter how perfect you are, or how well you take care of yourself or your spouse. The fact is people cheat for a variety of reasons.
You could be as beautiful as Angelina Jolie, and your guy will still have the desire to have s** with more than one woman.
If a person constantly thinks about sleeping with other women, then there is always the chance he will stray. He is always looking and thinking about women, so there is already temptation for him everywhere he goes – that and a man’s constant struggle with his desire. He must decide to go for or against his desire to sleep with other women.
Now I think most men decide to struggle against their desires in an effort to be better men, and because many have grown up in homes with divorced parents. Still, many give into their desire at some point. I don’t believe that a woman getting out of shape is an excuse, for even the most beautiful women have cheating husbands.
I am married since last 18 years and if I am saying this there must be something that I have experienced. We used to have lots of fights and some used to last for even a month. But, we are together as we value the best days we stayed together then one bad instance.
The most important reason why a married man cheats is because he thinks that all the other women who is not his wife is better then his wife. When you go to a restaurant and order food, you would always regret after seeing somebody eating different food next to your table. This is human mentality. We like something more if it is not ours. Well, this might seem funny but this is true and men are no different. This is the reason why married men cheat.
I’m sorry but that’s not always the reason why married men cheat. Sometimes a man will cheat cause the woman is neglecting her husband or the step children that’s raised in the house are not respectable. Women also cheat cause they never loved the man they are married too or they are just a woman without morals.
I was married man for 8 years with ex wife, I had affair win other woman. I regret it, but on part I do blame on my ex wife because after we got married and she changed dramatically, she neglect to give me attention, focus on her school, never cook dinner ( I always make dinner), I have been suffering with not getting attention from her. However, when we finally divorced, she finally admitted to me that she was not giving me enough attention and not show any affections, her last word that she wished we never got divorced. We ending up being good friends now.
My wife and I use to do a lot of things together every weekend until we got married and all of a sudden. She wanted to hang out in the hair salon with her friends. We use to have s*x every day and now I’m lucky if I get it twice a month. Can u give me some advice.
My advice: Remarry…try to make it work (assuming neither of you have already)
I am seeing a married man, he says his wife does nothing but sleep and does not like to clean around the house but only sleep. He has 2 kids of his own and she does not have any from him or any other man. he takes care of his kids but yet when he has time to have se* with her, they both go at it..why is he still coming to me?
Maybe there is something u do better than his wife,I am also dating a married guy,h seems happy with his wife,the reason I am saying his happy is because,each and everything that need password,its his wife name from laptop, cellphone, even his work gate code. But his cheating on her.i never asked him why his cheating on his wife.i wish i can ask him why his dating me if his happy, but I am scared.
Because you are easily available I guess…question really is why are you ‘the other woman’…and okay with that status?
i think that there are many other reasons for Why Married Men Cheat?. i have a personal experiance with one of my friends who don’t have any of these reasons & he is cheating his wife like hell. And by asking him about if he has any good reason , he answered that he is in his happiest moment if he put infront of him a challenege to get the attension of a girl & win her heart , thats it his own goal. but i realy wonder that he is very much convinced with his own wife & didn’t find in himself any intension to realy cheat her , as he never continue any realtionship till the end. So i think feeling that he is still attractive to girls is the reason.
Don’t kid yourselves ladies, it’s not about EGO,, it’s about happiness. I have been married for 6 years now and do all the right things. I massage all the time, cook, clean, work (and I make good money), take her on a trip every year, bought her a new truck and a new house, i am a damn good dad, I have never cheated (not even a kiss), and I love my wife.
Men only cheat because of 3 reasons.
1. Men get stuck in a boring, dead or abusive relationship due to the unfairness of divorce.
2. You won’t do what we want in the bedroom.
3. You change, it’s all fun, getting along and se* in the beginning, but now,,, you have us and think you don’t have to worry about keeping us.
Think again, anyone can be replaced in 1 hour. Men don’t want to cheat, it’s too much effort and makes us feel like crap so stop making us.
Yes, any of that might be the cause.
Kim I’m proud of you Girl! Crazy situation but I’m glad you finally opened up your eyes. Move on & find a lovely man who is only yours when you are ready. In the mean time focus on yourself. Rebuild that spirit. Much love.
& as for cheating it is never JUSTIFIED. Never. I don’t care what the other person is doing or not doing. At the end of the day it is a choice. You have the free will to choose wether or not you want to cheat on someone. So take some responsibility. You are an adult not a damn child. Don’t let people control your decisions, choices or actions.
It doesnt matter what the wife looks like married men that cheat are pigs.im married and my husband is constantly looking at girls 35 years younger than him and it really pisses me off and when i try talking to him about it all i get is excuses.im tired of it and that is what is ruining our marriage.Im about to call it quits i deserve better than a pervert.
My name is Princess. My case is very complicated. I am married and happy, but I knew my husband was cheating, though I was not really sure. He doesn’t spend on me like he does for those other girls. He always made me believe business was bad, and there was no money. I would pity him and encourage him, trying to show him how understanding I am.
Even when I was pregnant with our first child, I came with the pregnancy to be with him. The most painful part is that he came to the airport with his girlfriend, who happens to be a single mother of two, to pick me up. He was always driving the both of us in his car together. We became so close that deep inside of me, I knew the truth of what’s happening. So one day, I confronted the lady while alone with her in the house. She opened up to me.
To her, the only reason she did was because I am a very beautiful, good-hearted woman. The way I treat her, no one has ever treated her that way. She felt I knew what’s up, but my husband thought I was naive. Even when he would give her money but tells me he’s broke. Even when he would give me money and instruct me to feed her in any restaurant of her choice. At a point, he beat me while I was pregnant because of this same lady, and she told him it’s not fair. Since then, something about everything went out of me.
When I was pregnant, I suffered. Sometimes, he wouldn’t give me food. There’s no food in the house, but he would shop for his lady. I asked him if I’ve offended him in any way, and if he could forgive. I wanted to go back home to my family because I was starving. No clothes to wear, nowhere to go. I had to walk to a mall far from the house in his absence and buy rice for R10 and cook it little by little with just salt and anything I could find just to make it worth eating. Sometimes I even had to put vinegar because it had no taste. I prayed and believed God would help me. I wish I could play lotto and win.
Even when I had my baby, I almost lost my life. The only gift I got from him was beating and a harsh word, saying that other people go to the theater and have their baby without anyone’s knowledge. But I went in to cry and waste money on hospital fees. He said I would suffer but his child will not just because his father was the one who reincarnated my son.
Even when I tried asking him, he denied ever having an affair with her and swore on his life and prosperity. But after I had my son, he became worse with women. He’d tell some he’s not married, some that he’s separated, and others different stories. He would never wear his wedding ring. He would take them for shopping, while I had to beg for clothes because mine were all torn.
Till one blessed day, a friend of his took me to see things for myself. I saw my husband kissing and shopping for a lady. He even had her mimic my hairstyle. Then I saw my husband doing things he’d never do with me. I thought of ending my life. So many things came to my mind, and finally, I talked to him about divorce. But he refused. He insulted me and my family, and told me of his plans to hurt them. He’d even take any money I received from others.
Sometimes, I feel God has abandoned me. There came a time I stood up to him, and he cooled down a bit, but now he’s back at it. He makes love to me without any emotion. This is just the beginning of my story.
I am praying God should help me with a little favor. I wish I had some money to start up a business. I would’ve been able to contribute. I don’t want a divorce because God said “I hate divorce”, but if I’m pushed to the wall, I might consider it. If only I had money to hire a lawyer. But as the case is now, he knows I’m poor. Please, I need helpful advice.
I’d strongly advise you to seek professional help or counseling for your situation. There are many organizations worldwide that offer assistance and resources to those in abusive relationships. Your safety and well-being are important.
My first husband cheated on me and I got rid of that zero and found me a hero. When I met the zero, I admit I worked, went to the gym ,cooked and all of that. After 5 years of marriage and 2 kids, you’re tired. I didn’t deny him s*x, even when I was tired. I noticed the zero wanting less and less of it and I found out why. The affair was with a nurse in the hospital who said our son didn’t look like my husband (my son looked like me and has now grown to look like the him). I forgave him at first after he begged and pleaded. Then I didn’t want him around me, when he started acting distant again. I told that zero to leave, but I made sure I got alimony and child support in the divorce so we would be taken care of. I have since met a wonderful man who is more handsome, smarter and makes more money than that zero. He does not cheat on me. He is at work and home when he is supposed to be, I have checked up on him(because of my first marriage) and he is where he supposed to be. I think we know when something is not right, and after 2 years of dating and 8 years of marriage it’s good. We talk about things and get it straightened out. He loves me for who I am and I love him. We have twins together and I gained weight. He doesn’t mind (that was an issue in my first marriage. My two older children love him(even though the visit their dad sometimes) I don’t berate their dad in front of them. He is a good father, but not a good husband.
One more thing, don’t sleep with married people, they are disrespecting all involved, including themselves.
it dosent matter at some point both man and women are doing same so whats the point of arguing we man is sincere women cheats when the women was sincere man cheats its not because people dont love each other its because of one sided love i loved my gf but after 9 years she cheated me bcz she started to like some one else i was depressed on that time but i saw her happy with that man i start to understand her feelings i am jealous because i love her but inside somewhere i am also happy for her